which aren’t actually impending because they’ve actually happened by now. we just don’t have photographic evidence of that happening at the moment of this sentence’s composition.
what we have is this:
and a bazillion pictures of people getting on boats…
which is HILARIOUS because it makes everyone look like mariah carey.
or like they are drunk…
anyway, so george clooney is married. to george clooney’s wife, née george clooney’s fiancé.
i kid you not (and maybe this is just further proof of my inability to correctly read facebook trends- much like that one time i thought matthew modine died…) but, due to an unfortunate line-break and the george clooney’s fianceification of amal alamuddin up to now, i read this headline:
as “George Clooney: Actor marries human”.
which maybe have been the result of having totally ODed on george clooney’s wedding by friday night.
because it like NO MAN HAS EVER MARRIED A WOMAN BEFORE AMIRIGHT?!?!
srsly. it is like george clooney is the bride.
the weird hiding of the bride after the ceremony did nothing to help this, creating a series of headlines that made it look like clooney had simply married himself.
let’s look back at that headline…
his friends. him waving goodbye to his old life- his bachelor life- as he marries. his night.
which is interesting. because (1) this isn’t how the story is usually told. and because (2) GEORGE CLOONEY, WHO ARE YOU??!
remember how the brange snuck off and quietly married a couple weeks ago. it is possible for the most famous people in the world to do such things quietly. they don’t have to be blazing down the canals of venice with a personal photographer and a flotilla of paparazzi…
THIS IS LIKE CANNES.
so i wrote all that and then i went and lived my life and returned all afraid that the story would’ve changed, but no. it hasn’t. it’s still pretty much just like cannes, but now with a woman and rings.
see?! just like cannes.
with a bit of titanic thrown in…
WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE??
Filed under: amal alamuddin, george clooney, weddingz
